Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Nor is resilience.
We all know a person who has become successful, starting literally from scratch, without any help. Or that other person, who had a rough childhood, yet managed to get away, and not only that but also dedicated their life helping others in need. Or, in more extreme circumstances, that person who experienced a traumatic event, yet somehow has managed to stand on their feet, strong and independent. What is that mysterious skill that makes those people more adaptive to difficulties? Can we enhance it? Is it an adult skill or children can learn it too? Okay, no more mystery. We shall reveal it now.
Resilience is a soft skill that refers to the positive adaptation, or the ability to maintain or regain mental health, despite experiencing adversity (Wald et al., 2006). Resilience has a dynamic nature throughout the lifespan (Herman et al., 2011). The one million dollar question every scientist has tried to answer is this: how can it be that some people, regardless of their age or gender withstand adversity without developing negative physical or mental health outcomes? (Herman et al., 2011).
A survey from the Ohio State University (2020), regarding the State of Health, found that “the majority of Americans overestimated their own resilience — by a lot. In fact, 83% of Americans polled thought they had high levels of mental and emotional resilience, when in fact 57% scored as resilient”. This is a rather interesting fact, considering that resilience has been proved to be correlated with better outcomes when one is experiencing unexpected changes, challenges, setbacks, disappointments, and failures.
Resilience for working parents
Are you a working parent, who has made it through 2+ years of pandemic, having a toddler, or a child, or- God forbid- a teenager isolated 24/7 while working from home? Congrats! You are a resilient pro! All jokes aside, COVID-19 is indeed a traumatic experience for the whole world. Resilience, now more than ever, can change the way we deal with struggles. So, how does a resilient working parent act? Let’s see an example.
It is Monday morning. The whole team is ready for the first online meeting of the week. Max, the content creator of the company and a proud dad of a 4-year-old, has already joined the meeting, playing in the background the “Here Comes the Sun” song by The Beatles. Everyone joins, he smiles and waves hello to each coworker separately. His positivity is spread immediately in the room. When Helen shares her setbacks with a project she is working on, he suggests helping her selflessly, since his schedule was light. When she gets extremely anxious about the project, he uses humor, thus embracing the fear. Okay, Max looks like a cool dude. But why is he resilient?
Max’s psychological well-being is directly benefitted by his general attitude towards problems and he can cope with stress much better. We know that “Healthy and happy employees are highly engaged and drive quality, retention, customer satisfaction, and profitability.” As we can see, he shows adaptability skills and is definitely a team player. If you can name one employer that doesn’t want his/her employees to have the above two, then you can stop reading right now.
Max’s attitude helps him learn new skills and information (from Helen’s project), and therefore further develop his career. This is why resilience at work matters. The same survey from Ohio State University, also revealed another concerning fact. Although “93% of the most resilient Americans believe mental health is as important as physical health, only 33% of Americans are likely to ask for help or counseling when faced with a negative situation that is emotionally taxing”
Now, let’s make something clear. Max too has faced the pandemic with little Jimmy crying all day because he wanted to see his friends. Max too struggled with negative emotions when he couldn’t visit his parents for almost a year, for fear he would transmit the virus. But it is all about the mindset.
Wait a minute, what we keep saying in our blog posts is that soft skills can be learned! This is what we do! Therefore, with the appropriate guidance, we surely can develop thoughts, behaviours, and actions that will assist us to recover from traumatic or stressful events in life.
Resilience for children
Let’s take little Jimmy as an example. He is very sad that his dad can’t take him to the playground and he must stay at home. But Jimmy’s dad has sat him down and(repeatedly) explained to him this “I understand that you are feeling sad right now and it is okay to feel that way, but remember that feeling will not last forever”. What Max is teaching his son is in fact how to be resilient! Resilient children are often good at problem-solving (yes, another soft skill). Why is that? Simple. They are more willing to try again even if things don’t go as planned.
Want to know a cool fact? “Resilient children are less likely to avoid problems or deal with them in unhealthy ways, like getting defensive or aggressive or intentionally hurting themselves. Resilient children are also likely to have better physical and mental health than children who struggle to be resilient.”
Resilience for all
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Nor is resilience. It takes time and effort, but the benefits are numerous. Let’s try taking small steps. For starters, why not enroll in a Morphoses session enhancing resilience?
