My child is being Bullied! What do I do?
Today's Bullying doesn't stop at the school gate
Old-fashioned bullying stopped when a child got home. Today's bullying never stops, it follows them onto their phone, into their social media, into their bedroom at night. According to the World Health Organization (2024), 1 in 6 children in Europe has experienced cyberbullying. Also, research from the Cyberbullying Research Center (Patchin & Hinduja, 2024) shows that the percentage of young people who have experienced online bullying has nearly tripled over the past 15 years, so you understand the problem is real!
So, why children don't speak up? Most children don't say "I'm being bullied", they're afraid you won't believe them and that the things will get worse... Or that they'll seem weak.
What they need first isn't a solution. It's to feel that they can talk.
Some phrases that open the conversation:
"How did you feel at school today?" not "what happened"
"If something was bothering you, I'd want you to tell me. I won't get angry."
"Have you seen anything on your phone or social media that upset you?"
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise & express what we feel and according to research from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence is the most powerful shield against bullying. And it is built at home, in everyday moments exactly like this one.
Society wants grades...but children need something else!
We live in an era where children are judged by their appearance, their followers, and their grades. A child who has not built an internal sense of worth is exposed, both as a potential victim and as a potential perpetrator. Dr. Daniel Goleman of Harvard University emphasises that the foundations for an emotionally healthy person are built in the first years of life through the relationship with parents, and It doesn't require perfect parenting. It requires presence and honesty!!!
Saying to your child "I love you because you are you, not because you did well" is one of the most important things you can do!
5 warning signs you should never ignore
Children rarely say "I'm being bullied." But their behaviour speaks:
- Mood changes after school or after using their phone: irritability, withdrawal, crying for no apparent reason
- Avoiding school or activities they used to love: "I don't want to go" is not always laziness
- Stomach aches or headaches with no medical explanation: anxiety manifests physically
- Pulling away from friends or stopping talking about school: silence is often the loudest signal
- Saying things like "I'm useless" or "nobody likes me": this requires calm, immediate attention
4 Things to observe every day 👁️
- Their mood after using their phone: if it changes consistently, calmly ask what they're seeing online
- Their friendships: have they suddenly lost a friend? Do they mention certain names with fear or avoidance?
- Their body language: "I'm fine" is often said with eyes that are anything but fine
- Their performance at school: a sudden drop without apparent reason often hides something emotional
If It's happening now, what you do!
- Listen first, don't react immediately. Your child needs to feel believed.
- Don't tell them to "ignore it." They can't. And that's not weakness.
- Contact the school, calmly, with facts, without accusations.
- Seek professional support if you see it affecting their daily life.
- Remind them every day, that it is not their fault. Because they believe it is and they need to hear otherwise from you
Every child deserves to feel Safe & Loved & Enough! At Morphoses, we're here to help you become the parent your child needs!
Sources:
WHO Europe (2024), Patchin & Hinduja / Cyberbullying Research Center (2024)
Yale Center for Emotional IntelligenceDr. Daniel Goleman from Harvard University,& co-founder of CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning)